Friendship–When It’s Easy and When It’s Not


This book is available in print and audio from Perfect Bound, and also as eBook from
Friendship: When It’s Easy and When It’s NotLet’s face it, everyone wants friends, but some individuals just don’t make it easy! Friendship: When It’s Easy And When It’s Not focuses on the different types of individuals in our lives: the sunny friends who encourage us, the negative friends who drain our energy, the critical friends who steal our confidence, the hurting friends seeking answers we can’t give, those incessant talkers who won’t let us get a word in edgewise, and what about ex-relatives? Can we remain friends with them? What if we don’t like ourselves? Can we become better friends with us? This “where the rubber meets the road” will help you discover answers.Author Kitty Chappell interviewed countless individuals who had much to offer on this timely topic. Their enthusiastically candid responses and nuggets of wisdom helped make this book the delightful and helpful read that it is. Friendship: When it’s Easy and When it’s Not.



01 Friendship – Tough Stuff! This chapter describes the golden cord of friendship as being stronger than steel—a cord consisting of fiber woven more from character than any other single factor since it rises above superficial commonalities.

02 Sunny Side Up, Please! Everyone knows an uplifting friend who brightens the day by merely entering it. This chapter examines the fiber of such individuals and offers hope that each of us can become that kind of friend.

03 Shady Side Friends This chapter helps us to better understand those negative friends who drain us. It motivates us to not merely tolerate or avoid such friends, but seek to make a healthy difference in their lives.

04 Paved With What? This practical chapter provides workable tips on being prepared to execute the thoughtful things we often think about doing but usually don’t. It propels our motivation to be more thoughtful.

05 That’s No Friend, That’s My… Mate? Son or daughter? Sister or brother? Mom or Dad? This chapter contains thought- provoking anecdotes and examples that make us aware of, and encourage us to avoid, the double standard of behavior we often display toward those closest to us.

06 The Friendly Robbers What we can do to avoid having our bubble burst by a well-meaning friend and how we can be more supportive of our friends’ dreams is the focus of this chapter.

07 Please Help Me, I’m Hurting Because we don’t know how to respond to the hurting friend, or what to say to that friend who is dying of cancer, or whose only son is dying of AIDS, we simply stay away. Through the use of personal interviews and anecdotes, this chapter offers a clear, strong message as to how we can help.

08 Is the Enemy Us? This deals with the subject of loneliness—ours and our friends—and what we can do to overcome it and help others.

09 What Your Friends Won’t Tell You—“You Talk Too Much” Who doesn’t have at least one friend afflicted with TTMS (Talk Too Much Syndrome)? This timely chapter gives examples and tips on how to deal with and possibly help such friends—tips that can also help us to avoid or break this habit.

10 But Who Wants to be Divine? The capacity to forgive is a necessary quality in one who wants to be a friend. This candid chapter reveals the importance of letting go of past hurts before healthy healing can occur.

11 How Can I Like You If I Don’t Like Me? Only when we accept and respect ourselves can we freely accept and love others. A healthy self-image begins with a proper foundation of understanding as to who we are and how we got here.



Anything written by Kitty Chappell is a good read, and Friendship: When It’s Easy and When It’s Not is no exception. She lives what she writes and writes what she lives and holds nothing back. Friendship is no easy matter, and sometimes it seems like it’s not worth the risk, but Kitty helps us see what can make the difference!

- Doug Ross,
President Emeritus, Evangelical Christian Publishers Association

How would you define the word friend? Someone you could call at 3:00 a.m. if you were in trouble? Someone you can share your darkest secrets with? Kitty Chappell’s book, Friendship: When It’s Easy and When It’s Not, discusses these points and more: how to help a hurting friend; how to treat those irritating relatives close to us; how to understand negative friends who drain us; how to overcome loneliness; how to forgive. Someone has said, “To have a friend, you must first be one.” If anyone is qualified to write this book, it is Kitty Chappell, as she truly knows and exemplifies the meaning of friendship!

Donna Clark Goodrich

Donna Clark Goodrich, Mesa, Arizona, is a speaker and author of twenty- four books and more than seven hundred published manuscripts. She’s also a freelance proofreader/editor, and her latest books are A Step in the Write Direction—the Complete How-to Book for Christian Writers and The Freedom of Letting Go. Contact her at, or read her blog each Monday at

In her book Friendship: When it’s Easy and When it’s Not, Kitty Chappell speaks to the heart of many who live with a sense of loneliness and isolation yet long for something deeper than a casual interaction. But she doesn’t stop there. By leading the reader to an in-depth consideration of “being” a friend—not merely seeking a self-serving relationship—Kitty clearly shows that a satisfying level of friendship is possible. For anyone. As a man, I must admit a tendency for having avoided deep relationships. Like many guys, I often have focused on my interests and independence. I found this book not only thought-provoking but challenging and convicting. I recommend it to anyone serious about having friends or willing to consider what it truly means to be a friend.

Dr. Curtis W. Brannan,

Kitty Chappell’s book, Friendship: When It’s Easy and When It’s Not, is a must-read for anyone wanting to learn the art of being a true friend. Kitty is the rare person who values friendships enough to keep them over the years and across the miles. Having known her for over twenty years, I’ve learned that when you reconnect with her, it’s as if the conversation picks right up where it left off. She writes from a heart acquainted with sorrow but prepared to forgive. Kitty brings deep joy to her friendships and to her writing. Her friendship book shares the many insights honed by a lifetime of being that good and true friend.

Patricia Hartmann

Patricia Hartmann is the author of three novels, including The Ojai—Pink Moment Promises, a historical romance fiction set in her home town of Ojai, California; Secrets of Sandpiper Cove, a seaside adventure romance; and her latest release, Yosemite–One Last Golden Summer, a modern-day tale of suspense and romance amid the beauty and wilderness of Yosemite National Park.

Over the years, God has blessed me with many wonderful friends. They’ve encouraged me, strengthened me, laughed and cried with me, and allowed me to be there for them as well. I know how valuable friendships are. God introduced me to one of those special friends in the 1980s, Kitty Chappell. In the publishing business at that time, I recognized that Kitty was not only a good friend; she was
a good writer as well. I encouraged her to combine her friendship skills and writing ability into a book. I’m so pleased to see that book come to life in Friendship: When It’s Easy and When It’s Not. I know it will bless everyone who reads it.

Mary Busha

For over thirty years, Mary Busha has worked in publishing, wearing numerous hats: writer, editor, agent, publisher, and writing coach. One of her greatest joys is helping writers get their words into print through Your Time to Write:

Friendship: When It’s Easy and When It’s Not is unlike most friendship books I’ve read. Kitty Chappell covers not only those warm, fuzzy friends but also tackles those who can be difficult and shows how to be a better friend in these relationships. It is a practical book that helps you navigate both the smooth and the sometimes treacherous paths of relationships. In her easy, I’m-right-there-with-you voice, Kitty offers the helping hand of a true friend.

Linda Carlblom

Linda Carlblom is a wife, mom of three children, and Grammy to seven grandkids. She is the author of six books for children and children’s ministry. After God, her top three loves are her family, reading, and cheesecake. Visit her at or at her Parenting with a Smile blog,